Cynic with a Vampire
by Shadow Pumpkinhead
Summary: When a mysterious family moves next door to the Lanes, Daria and Jane are caught into the world of the undead.
1. Chapter 1

Cynic with a Vampire

By

Patrick Moore

"Is the world ready when a man dates an animated cartoon princess. My girlfriend is a cartoon on the next Sick, Sad World," said the SSW announcer on the television, as Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane sat on Daria's bed watching TV.

"I wish they bring back Celebrity Deathmatch," said Jane. "I miss that Debbie woman, before she worked for E!"

"I think MTV is losing it's touch sine they aired the CGI Spider-Man series," replied Daria.

"We interrupt SSW for a special report," said a female reporter on the TV. "Lawndale is the latest target for a rash of mysterious puncture wounds on the necks of two people. With me is a young witness who may know what's going on here." The reporter walks towards a teenage Goth girl who looked familiar.

"Andrea," Daria and Jane said in unison.

"Tell me, Miss Hecuba, what are your thoughts on this?" asked the reporter.

"It was vampires, you moron," said Andrea. "Any idiot would have notice that vampires leave two holes on the necks of their victims after they drink your blood."

"There are no such things as vampires, young lady," said the reporter.

"Then explain the bite marks on their necks, dummy," continued Andrea to the airhead reporter. "Is it because I'm Goth, isn't it? And I thought the Fashion Club were a bunch of bimbos."

"Miss Hecuba, vampires only exist in movies and books like Dracula and the Twilight book series," said the reporter.

"Vampires do exist, you idiot," Andrea continued, as she gabbed the microphone from the reporter's hand. "I know vampires are real, and…"

"CUT!" the female reporter shouted, as the screen turned to snow.

"We know Andrea is a Goth and all, but this is too much for her," said Jane to Daria. 

"I don't think she's crazy, and she might be telling the truth about this whole vampire thing," said Daria.

Just then, Daria's sister, Quinn, enters Daria's room. "Daria, Mom wants you to get ready for dinner."

"What are we having?" Daria asked her sister.

"Lasagna," replied Quinn.

"Figures," Daria said, as Quinn left the room.

"I better get going, Trent said that we got new neighbors moving in next door to us," said Jane. "I promised Mom I get some pizzas for us and them."

"Why don't you give them Dad's lasagna?" Daria smirked, as Jane leaves with a smirk on her face as well.

A half hour later, Jane headed home to Casa Lane to see her mom, Amanda, and her father, Vince, talking to the new neighbors. Jane spotted Trent sleeping on the couch, as Jane softly kicked him on the side.

"Trent, wake up," said Jane. "We got new neighbors, and you want to sleep everywhere. "What would Daria think of you doing what you're doing?"

"Sorry, Janey," replied Trent. "Been practicing a new song with the band last night at the Zen."

"You sleep too much, bro," said Jane.

"I like him when he sleeps," Jane turned to see a teenage girl with long raven, black hair coming out of the kitchen.

"Who are you?" Jane asked the girl.

"My name is Veronique Benoit, your new neighbor from next door," said the girl, as she smirked at Jane. "Your brother said I can get me something to eat in the kitchen. I hope you didn't mind?"

"My brother is like a narcoleptic sometimes," smirked Jane. "Tell me, Veronique, how do you like it here in Lawndale?"

"This town is not like my country," replied Veronique. "My mother told me that I'll be in your school tomorrow morning."

"Wait until you meet my friend Daria Morgerdorffer, you look almost like her," said Jane.

"I think I'll like it here in this Lawndale," smirked Veronique. "I just love the taste of the people here."

To Be Continued …. 


	2. Chapter 2

The next day at Lawndale High, Daria is standing next to her locker, when Jane and Veronique walked towards her. The girl next to Jane looked like a cross between Veronica Lodge and Anne Hafaway with glasses.

"Who's your friend, Jane?" Daria asked her best friend.

"This is Veronique, my next door neighbor," replied Jane. "She and her family moved in last night." Jane turned to Veronique. "Veronique, I want you to meet my best friend, Daria Morgendoffer."

"Hello, Daria," smirked Veronique, as she shook Daria's hand.

"Are you from France?" Daria asked Veronique.

"I'm from a far away country call Stokervania," replied Veronique. "In my country, we like people who…"

"Hey, Daria," the girls turned to see Kevin and Brittany walk towards them.

"Who's the weird girl?" Brittany asked, as she looked at Veronique.

"My name is Veronique, peasant," corrected Veronique, as she frowned at Brittany. "Don't you two idiots mind that me and my friends are talking here."

"Kevy, that bimbo just called me a pheasant," said Brittany to Kevin. "Do something."

"Look, Veronica," Kevin began, "you better apologize to my girlfriend. Why don't you got back to Betty and Jughead?"

"How dare you insult me, fool," hissed Veronique. "Look into my eyes. You will kiss the next person who comes to you. Understand?"

"Yes, master," spoke Kevin, in a zombie like state after looking into Veronique's eyes.

Kevin felt someone's hand touch him, as he turned to kiss that person on the lips. Everyone in the hallway was in shock, as Kevin is kissing Ms. Barch on the lips.

"You little pervert!!!" Barch snapped, as she hit Kevin in the face with her fist. The idiot football player fell to the ground, not knowing what was going on here.

"That'll teach the dimwit who he's messing with," smirked Veronique, as she walked off.

"What just happened?" Kevin asked anyone.

"You kissed the man killer," Daria spoke, as she and Jane walked off to their next class.

"Jerk," Brittany huffed off, with Kevin still in puzzlement.

In Mr. O'Neill's English class, the teacher is writing the words "Bram Stoker" on the blackboard. He turned to the class and began to speak.

"You may all have known that we have a new student here in Lawndale High," he began. "This is Veronique from Stokervania. She's going to be here for a while, until her parents get fixed up here in Lawndale."

"That's the chick who made me kiss Ms. Barch," said Kevin.

"Pig," Brittany huffed at Kevin again.

"Let us remember that event never existed," said O'Neill.

"Like that wrestler we can't say the name of anymore," said Daria to Jane.

"You mean Cr…" started Jane.

"He doesn't exist," corrected Daria.

"Today, we are going to talk about Bram Stoker and his famous novel, Dracula," began O'Neill.

"Bram Stoker is a fraud," said Veronique. "His thoughts on vampires are false."

"Veronique, everybody knows that vampires don't exist," corrected O'Neill.

"Vampires are real, Mr. O'Neill," said Veronique. "It's just that not all vampires are undead like in books and the movies. You see.."

"I know I want to hear about your opinions about vampires, Veronique, but I have a class to teach," replied Mr. O'Neill.

"I understand," said Veronique. "Soon, all of you will believe." She spoke under her breath.

To Be Continued…


	3. Chapter 3

Later in the cafeteria, Daria, Jane, and Veronique sat at a table to eat their lunches, when the Fashion Club walked towards them. Quinn looked at Veronique's plate of food, as she looked at the sausage that was covered in a strange red sauce.

"Eeeewww, what kind of meat is that?" Quinn asked Veronique.

"It's called blood sausage, and the red stuff is ketchup," replied Veronique. "Blood sausage is a famous treat in Stokervania. Want some?"

"I don't eat meat from strange countries," said Quinn.

"What do you and the Fashion Brats want anyway?" Daria asked Quinn.

"We want to talk to the new girl, Quinn's cousin," said Sandi Griffin, president of the Fashion Club.

"I thought we were done with the whole thing of me being Quinn's cousin," said Daria to Sandi. "I'm her sister."

"Sandi's kind of slow remembering that we did the whole Daria is Quinn's sister revelation in Lucky Strike," said Jane, breaking the fourth wall for a second.

"Look, Daria, all we wanted to do is talk to Veronica about joining the Fashion Club," said Sandi, as she turned to Veronique. "I like your style of clothes, Veronica. Do you want to join the Fashion Club, or stay with these losers?"

"These losers happen to be my friends," hissed Veronique. "And my name is Veronique, you spoiled brat. As for my clothes, they are made from the best Stokervania silks and fibers. I also hate popular girls clubs, like yours."

"Look, all I just wanted to…" Sandi began.

Just then, Veronique's eyes turned dark red. "Damn, I got to take my medicine." With that, Veronique went to the bathroom.

"Did you see her eyes?" Stacy Rowe asked. "It was like Mr. DeMartino's big eye, but blood red."

"I didn't see nothing," said Jane.

"Me either," said Daria. "If you Fashion Fiends are finished, me and Jane are going to check on Veronique." With that, Daria and Jane headed towards the bathroom.

Inside the bathroom, Veronique took her meds, as the dark red in her eyes turned back to normal. "Can't let them know yet that I'm one of them. Got to keep it a secret."

"So, it's true," Veronique turned to see Andrea Hecuba coming out of one of the toilet stalls. "You're a vampire."

"How did you know?" Veronique asked Andrea.

"Kevin kissing Ms. Barch, and the recent red eyes scene," replied Andrea. "It doesn't take Buffy the Vampire Slayer to figure that out. I thought you vampires come out at night."

"We do, but Stokervaina scientists have found a way for us to control our vampire urges," Veronique took out a vile with a red substance inside. "It's called True Blood. It helps us vampires control our urges to drink human blood, and protects us from the sun for twelve hours."

"Interesting," said Andrea. "I won't tell anybody about this, not even Daria and Jane."

"Thank you, my friend," smile Veronique.

"If you aren't the one who biting people in the necks, then who is?" Andrea asked herself under her breath.

To be Continued…


End file.
